Pirata’s Mother in Law, the Ninja?

Stills from Granny's Day Out (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVsdaBB1RQI)

From Pirata's blog:
http://pirata333.blogspot.com/2009/01/grannys-day-out.html

Friday, January 23, 2009
GRANNY'S DAY OUT
GRANNY'S DAY OUT, is a short action film of a kidnaping. It takes place at the same time that an old and sweet lady ( my mother in law), was out with her nurse at the park. She isn't like other old ladies, she is special, because she is a ninja.

The principal actor, is this sweet old lady, she is a heroine of the film. She saved a couple from the kidnapers, with her ability and her power. It was set in a luxury house in a fine neighborhood. There are many good action scenes.

The film was made in a very short time. The soundtrack is similar to James Bond music, it is not possible that you don't remember those films. The movie has killers, but not blood, it could have better special effects. I recommend this film, only if you don't have any thing to do.

3.21 minutes
Youtube
ninadiamante321



CONTENT
The content’s pretty good, but you should not have included the very last part (“… only if you don't have [anything] to do”) — see “COHESIVENESS.” You tell us how the film ends (That’s usually a no no.), but that’s probably OK because I don’t think that anyone who watches this film will think, “Oh, my God! Is she going to save them?!” Instead, I think that the average viewer is interested in “how” she’ll do it — not “if.”

COHESIVENESS
Most of this review “holds together” well. However, you shouldn’t have included the very last part (“… only if you don't have [anything] to do”) because it doesn’t fit in well with the rest of what you wrote: i.e., almost everything else is positive, so this negative comment seems out of place.

GRAMMAR AND VOCABULARY
Please pay close attention to the punctuation — especially the commas (,). Also, look at the verb tenses; you usually want to use the same tense throughout the essay.

Granny's Day Out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVsdaBB1RQI

Granny's Day Out is a short action comedy about a couple that gets kidnapped and their rescue. The kidnapping takes place at the same time that a sweet old lady (my mother in law) is out with her nurse at the park. She isn't like other old ladies; she’s a ninja. The sweet old lady is a “super heroine.” She saves the couple from the kidnappers with her special abilities and her power.

It is set in a luxury house in a fine neighborhood, but it was made in a very short time. The soundtrack is similar to the music from a James Bond film. (You have to remember those films!) There are many good action scenes. It has killers, but there isn’t any blood. It could have better special effects, but it’s a low budget film. I recommend this movie if you enjoy silly comedies.